Happy St Patrick’s Day

Happy St Patrick’s Day to ye all, Hope you have a good day, below are a few funny Irish sayin’s i’ve come across that made me chuckle... (Some are a little rude - i'm off to the pub now 'till tomorow - Cheers!)

1) I’m as sick as a small hospital.
2) I’m so hungry I’d eat a small child.
3) She had a face on her like a well slapped arse.
4) You’re as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit.
5) My mouth’s as dry as a nuns crack.
6) He has rubber-lined pockets so he can steal soup.
7) He thinks manual labour is a Spanish musician.
8) As funny as a burning orphanage.
9) He’s so camp, he sh*ts tent pegs.
10) I’m as sick as a plane to Lourdes.
11) I feel like a boiled sh1te (hungover).
12) She had a face on her that would drive rats from a barn.
13) As busy as the Dalkey dole office.
14) Sweatin’ like a paedophile in a Barney suit.
15) As tight as a nun’s knickers.
16) I’m so horny I’d get up on the crack of dawn.
17) I’d crawl a million miles across broken glass to kiss the exhaust of the van that took her dirty knickers to the laundry.
18) Up and down like a hoor’s knickers.
19) No show pony but would do for a ride around the house.
20) Did your mother find out who your father is yet?
21) What would ye expect from a pig but a grunt.
22) I left her with a face like a painters radio.
23) A mickey the size of a double-value can of Right Guard.
24) Jaysus, she could breastfeed a crèche.
25) As fit as a butcher’s dog.
26) She’s got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
27) Not even the tide would take her out.
28) Mother Teresa wouldn’t kiss her.
29) Daz wouldn’t shift her.
30) Des Kelly wouldn’t lay her.
31) A sniper wouldn’t take her out.
32) Jaysus, ya wouldn’t ride her into battle.
33) If I’d a bag of bruised willies I wouldn’t give her one.
34) She has a face on her like a bulldog that’s just licked piss off a nettle.
35) She wouldn’t get a kick in a stampede.
36) She had a fanny like a badly packed kebab.
37) If I’d a garden full of mickeys I wouldn’t let her look over the wall.
38) Give her a boot in the arse and a bucket of mickeys would fall out of her.